Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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