Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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