In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
