I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
