if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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