hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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