either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
