belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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