Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
