Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I supernannyed him into submission
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
