1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
