I want to make a zoo with you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
