Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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