You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
