What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
