I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
