Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
