i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
