Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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