is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can you bring me the toilet please
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
