can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
