I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize