I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
