This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
