I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
