You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize