Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
