she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
