I could have mohawked her pubes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
