I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
