nut hugger
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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