??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
