Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
