it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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