She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
