once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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