I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i think i just lost a toe
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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