If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
