she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
