I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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