Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
