i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
