Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
