Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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