How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
