When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize