Buhtt sex?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
