How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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