Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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