My hand turned me down
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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