You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
