You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
