You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
