Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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