if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am midnight drunk by noon
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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