I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just pynch a tree in the face
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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