is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
