I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
