you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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