I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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