Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
