I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
