we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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