Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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