The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
